We’ve all heard the axiom that “the only constant in life is change.” How blithely we roll our eyes every time someone tosses out this platitude, as they watch us clumsily meander through, or lament the struggle of, adjusting to some change in our life. However, the cliched stigma of this phrase is only equaled by its accepted truth: every area in our life is in a state of ceaseless flux, be it relationships, career, school, finances, environment, or health; and the continuance of our existence is predicated on our ability to acclimate and reconstruct our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors to these changes. The timing of exploring this absolute couldn’t be more pertinent, as we all need to address the inevitable upcoming -or present- transitions of our life, be it matriculating to middle school, high school, or college; returning to the workplace, adjusting finances; socializing or shopping in-person, or just venturing outside to enjoy the inviting weather of Spring and Summer. The good news is that we are all -and I mean all of us regardless of age- are already experts at doing exactly this.

Our brains are designed with an innate drive to push our limits, expand our abilities, and confront challenges, all of which is facilitated by our brain’s extraordinary ability to adapt and redesign neural pathways to meet any expectations. This process of neurogenesis and neuroplasticity is what allows us to continually progress in life. Notice I used the word “progress,” as opposed to “change” or “transition;” because that is what we are doing as we adjust: we are learning, building upon our existing foundation, and developing new methods of perception, processing emotions, and behaviorally responding, so we can thrive in any situation. We do this every day, at every age and station, without even realizing it. Drop a 4-year-old off for their first day of pre-school and what do they do? They fall to pieces. Their perception is abandonment, their emotional reaction is anger, sadness, and fear, and finally their behavioral response is to cry, wail, clutch your leg, or lash out at you with their tiny fists of fury. But give them two weeks and what happens? Suddenly, they’ve gone from dreading the unknown, to yearning to be marooned in this new atmosphere. Their perception turns from abandonment to one of adventure, autonomy, and opportunity to explore. Their emotional processing has enhanced, as they now more readily manage sadness, anger, fear, and instead feel excited and eager. Finally, this is all observed in their actions as they now engage with their peers, play with the toys, and are eager to learn and exhibit an understanding of the pre-school curriculum. We have all progressed through this stage as we incredibly adjusted to a completely foreign and frightening environment full of strangers, unusual activities, and rigid expectations of learning. It truly is remarkable.

Let’s use a less grand example and focus on the everyday adaptations that are easy to overlook. Consider the first time you had to drive to work in the snow -certainly a change from the typical commute weather. You probably thought it was unfair to be expected to brave the snow-covered roads, feeling infuriated or exploited, and were pounding on the steering wheel while cursing your boss’ name. However, after a few bouts of traversing inclement weather to work, and now you can more readily acknowledge that driving to work in the snow is just an inescapable imposition during the winter months, have tempered your rage down to annoyance or even acceptance, and have converted from having a conniption in the car, to simply shrugging your shoulders and leaving earlier in the morning. With no real awareness of this organic process occurring, you’ve evolved your perception, emotions, and behavior in order to acclimate and surmount this deviation from your routine day; and you do it every day -as you have been, since birth.

Now ask yourself this: how are the above examples any different from starting high school, college, or a new job, or even returning to something with which you already have familiarity like shopping at the store or interacting with people in-person? You’ve already been down this road countless times before, especially over the past two years during the pandemic with almost every facet of how you experience life being radically redefined. And you made it! Here you are!

Fortunately, there are methods to help expedite the process and minimize the stress of acclimating to these new challenges. We’ve already tackled perception ad nauseam, in that everything you’ve read above is my attempt to remold how you perceive the inevitable process of adaptation and growth. You can ask either ask yourself “HOW can I progress through this,” or, “WHY can’t I progress through this?” Challenge that self-doubt.

Next is your emotional response: will your emotions govern you or will you govern them? I tell all my patients to accept and never endeavor to invalidate your primary emotions, which are the first emotions you experience in response to a situation or event. If you’re angry, feel angry. If you’re afraid, feel afraid. The issue is not what we feel so much as how we respond to these emotions. Can you feel anger but process it in a controlled manner that will not dictate your behavior? If not, try repeatedly reminding yourself that it is okay to feel whatever you feel, emotions don’t control you, but rather you control them, and if all else fails, just leave the environment and breathe which will help dial down that limbic system activity and mitigate the intensity of your emotions.

Which brings us finally, to behavior, in how will you respond via actions to this new demand?  Most of our behavior is the repetition of routines, and without a doubt, we all currently find solace in the routines we have developed over the past 2 years. Fortunately, a key component of adaptation is just making new routines. But this needs to be done slowly or else it will feel overwhelming. Small steps like waking up 15 minutes earlier every 3 days to eventually reach that new morning wake time of 6am for returning to the office; or just looking online for summer engagements before focusing on matriculating to the next grade level in the Fall. Don’t focus on changing everything overnight -it’s too much to ask. Instead, limit your goals to gradual changes and minute deviations from your current behavior/routine, which will culminate over time into complete acclimation to this new demand, and the creation of a new routine.

To conclude, what lies ahead may be new, but your innate ability to adjust your perceptions, emotions, and behaviors to surmount adversity, and progress forward, is not. You’ve been doing it daily on some scale since infancy when you first raised your head. To paraphrase Louisa May Alcott: “I am not afraid of storms, for I know how to sail my ship.”